Now, me, I'm answering your questions
about the hot tours around thistown.
From voodoo to Grande Opera in the French Opera House
- Baby, we got them all. -
So we'll take you to the hauntsof the literazzi.
Speaking of haunts,
you can visit the cities of thedead,
the above ground cemeteries native only to New Orleans.
Visit the Presbyter on beautiful Jackson Square,
where you can see not only maps
of the area from the 1500's,
but also Marie Antoinette's personal rosary.
Is money your thing? Who amongstus ain't?
You have succeeded where all other earthlings
have failed, Captain Desiree.You must tell me where I lapsed.
Was it the... cerulean?
I checked the flight manual. It's not regulation.
There you have it.
Totally brilliant and totally buff.
What about stepping out of thatsilver lamé
and having yourself a bona fidealien for lunch?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- What the... - Yes.
Sorry about that.
Quick.
-I had no choice. -I know.
-She stared right at me. -Yeah,I know.
She'd have made me in a lineup quicksville.
- I know. -
The fuck she have to do something weird like that?
Bad timing, that's all.
- I couldn't not clip her. - Let's go!
Is this the Valium drill or is my watch fast?
I thought you weren't smoking during the day.
-Special occasion and lay off. -What happened?
Some woman couldn't wait for theelevator.
Decided to walk ten floors down.
Is she temporarily or permanently indisposed?
- Dead. - It's all right.
It's spooky, but it's all right.
Why? What's the upshot?
Well, at least they know we're serious.
I didn't realize that was a concern.
Lizard, you are one in a dozen.
Dear Jesus, my name is Coco Chavez.
Why I choose this moment to talkto you is not important.
Life does have its moments of uncertainty.
Even school kids know that kidnapping's a fool's game.
But this was my idea.
Junior and I've been pulling shakedowns on and off.
Why don't we go someplace we canget some room service?
You know, I don't usually do this
on company time...
but you look a lot more educational
than my Management Performance Seminar.
Take a bite, cowboy.
Come on.
That's it.
God, you're something else.
That's the ticket. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.Here I go!
Now, your wife, she wants five grand a month,
the car, and the beach house orshe'll see you in court
I strongly suggest you sign.
When I came across careerdefining information,
grifter heaven stuff.
So, we roped in freelance mastermind, Lizard Browning.
An odd sort of guy who drifted in and out of the scene.
Hey, look what just slid in.
-Where you been? -People keep asking me that.
-That's not an answer. -Harvard.
That's an answer. I wish I'd come up with that.
-So what have you been up to? -You know,
just killing packs of wild 16-year-olds for fun.
I'd thought your homicidal tendencies
to be strictly profit motivated.
You did go to Harvard, you slimyold devil.
- So? - So, we're having
- a romantic dinner. - SoI should leave?
So, you should be a little morecharming
and little less bent on displaying your spoiled,
upper class upbringing.
You guys are still doing divorcejobs.
Well, not for long.
I've been toying with a kidnapping gig.
Oh, come on. Even school kids know
kidnapping's a fool's game. There's no angle on that.
Whoa, whoa, this is-- This is all news to me.
What are you talking about, sweetie?
I'm talking about I'm sick of faking orgasms
for pocket change.
-It's getting old. -So kidnapping?
- So why not? - So run with it.
Run with it nowhere. Last job Idid was this accountant geek.
Works for Dyscan,
-some software conglom. -Dyscape?
They're worth billions.
This guy, Ben Dyson, built it from scratch.
Now everybody's got to have hisfucking application wired
into their computer or they can't access anything.
The guy is a certified genius.
Right, so this accountant,
he handles the company's insurance payouts, right?
Now, he happens to inform me that if this Ben Dyson genius
were to be kidnapped,
Dyscape has four million dollarsallotted to the immediate payout
of ransom money. I mean, no questions asked.
This guy's too valuable.
Like you said, he's worth billions.
So he's insured for four mil.
Yeah, but this guy must have a skidillion bodyguards
and a bizillion high tech alarmsystems and what have you.
Well, maybe so, baby. But, I mean, we're talking
some heavy coin here.
I think it's worth checking out.
So why are you telling me in front of Lizard?
Cause he's not going to want tobe involved.
This isn't white-collar enough for him.
And, uh...
you're not going to stand in ourway
should we go ahead with it, areyou?
I'll call you. Your dinner's onme.
Buenas noches.
-He's in. -I'll scope out Dyson's pad
-again tomorrow. -I thought it was my turn.
You get to do all the fun stuff.
You just find a muscle man, sweetie.
To find a muscle man in New Orleans,
or in fact to get permission forany kind of underworld gig,
you had to go to Pobby Malavero.
Pobby was an ex-preacher turnedgangster
who knew New Orleans like he knew the Bible.
And no offense, Jesus,
he knew the Bible better than God.
-Miss Chavez. -Hmm, Mr. Malavero.
Have you been reading the book lately?
Oh, not since you stopped preaching, no.
You been back to church?
You of all people ought to know,
the church makes wise men into fools.
I'm truly sorry about my behavior
that day, Coco.
Anyone would have done the same,Pobby. I mean,
like you say, the place lends itself to that sort of thing.
Hell of an altar girl, you were.
Sal!
-Uh-huh? -That Mormon kid
Molina dug up in Salt Lake?
-Former middleweight? -Former middleweight.
-Sergio. Sergio Dos Veces. -Yeah, that one.
So how'd he make out in that junkyard spill?
Junkyard spill. He lost an arm,boss.
- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.
Might have lost an eye, too.
I could find out about that foryou right--
-Ruben Rubenbauer. -Ruben Rubenbauer.
-Ruben Rubenbauer. -Sure as shit, sugar.
This German kid, he's got moveslike I ain't seen since forever.
We sent him on backup on a jewelry store gig.
He got attacked by a rent-a-cop
and two, count them, two pit bulls.
He cuts up the watchman, tears up the dogs bare-fisted.
"Super-hush", were his instructions.
So the partners, they come out with the loot.
Like nothing. Didn't even hear the scuffle, he's so quiet.
Sal's going to give you the number.
Thanks, Pobby.
Clean, clean, clean.
Pobby says you're a crazy fuck,
but you never slipped on nothing.
You never done any time.
Well, what do you make of that?
I don't know.
I don't really trust it.
I mean, it could be you're lucky.
It could be you're a snitch.
Penny for your thoughts.
-Ah, you don't want to know. -Oh, try me.
Now, that's a trick answer.
My thoughts involve you in all kind of
indecent-type situations.
Where you from?
Me? I'm from Wanne-Eikel, Nordveihnwestfalen.
Jesus Christ. What's there to dothere?
Set dog tails on fire, watch flies fuck,
drink, chase your little sister.
You a badass, Ruben?
-Let me see that. -No.
-All right. -Hey, hey, wait.
All right, I'll call you.
-Maybe. -Wait.
You are a crazy fuck, and you'restupid.
As I said, I'll call you. Maybe.
Can you mambo?
-Can I what? -Mambo, the dance.
I call it the "Save-My-Ass Mambo"
because, you know...
basically I'm the best fucking strong-arm you can find.
And I'll kill whatever you want.Guns or knives. You can pick.
But, see, I-- I get nervous at job interviews.
I-- I-- I show off a little. I kind of sabotage myself.
So, but I figure...
If you got nothing to lose and Igot nothing to lose here,
let's mambo.
Ruben's mambo did the trick.
But nothing we had planned couldreally make us ready for this.
-You ready for this? -We'll findout in a hurry.
- Here, baby. - Thanks, sugar pie.
- Fuck me, Junior! - Now,sweetie?
I've got to calm down, like, pronto.
-Adrenaline overdrive. -Ultra-pay dirt
finger-licking mode.
Your eyes about to spin like pinwheels,
heart thundering through your chest
like you can't feel your feet.
Junior Armstrong,
you flip me over that mattress like God meant you to.
Or I swear to God, I'm gonna highball it to Mexico
and get me a pair or maraca-playin' muchachos
like Ava Gardner had in that movie.
Can you breathe in that?
- You comfortable? -
Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?
--Hey, you are allowed to talk.
We're not weird or nothing, you know.
Yes.
- Yes, we are weird? - No.
Yes, I need to go to the bathroom.
Good-fucking-God, Junior.
You touch me places no man's ever touched before,
-you know that? -I've got to admit, sweetie.
-You tantalize me. -I'm so in love with you.
You're like a full-throttle religious experience to me.
I'm sorry about today. I reallyam.
No. No. This more than makes upfor it, sugar pie.
We still got Margarita Island coming, don't we?
Pina coladas and hammocks and nothing else to do
but each other.
-They have rum there? -I'm positive they do.
Yeah? Cause you know I'm not bigon pina coladas.
I mean, not that I'd care if that was the only choice,
-but if I had my pick-- -Rum andcokes it shall be.
Jesus Christ, I love the way youwiggle, baby.
Oh.
-- Hey, guys, we're on TV.
Police are now on thescene at 351 Park Circle,
where computer giant, Ben Dyson,was kidnapped earlier today.
Found dead in his apartment wasMrs. Patricia Hornbeck,
wife of Senator Rupert Hornbeck.
It is not clear how this shocking murder
is connected to the kidnapping case...
but this frenzy of police and federal agents
has not been seen since--
What do you got?
You're not a case man,what's up?
Matty Grimes broke his foot. I'mfilling in. What do you got?
Clemencia Ruiz, maid, found thebody.
She's in the kitchen. Fred Gordon,
building security guard with a broken head,
-he's in the hospital. -Let's start with the maid.
Get me a tape-recorder, a refill,
and send these people home, willyou?
You kids...
beat it.
We only have to do this once, Miss Ruiz.
Were you in the apartment at thetime of the murder?
-No. -Where were you?
Every Thursday I go buy groceries,
and when I came back,
I open door, and I saw the woman.
I scream so loud. So loud. I'venever seen-- I never...
-Did you know her? -No. No.
She wasn't a friend of Mr. Dyson's?
No, no.
When did you first realize thatMr. Dyson was missing?
I called 911 and the policemen
waits for Mr. Dyson, waits and waits and--
And then they-- They saw that package.
I pick it up in my way in.
But-- What is this world comingto?
- I think God must be sleeping. - Friedman?
Chief.
The butler did it.
I'm sorry it took me so long when the clues were so clear.
You want to meet the senator?
It's not my case, but I hear he's a lousy poker player.
The senator's a good man to know.
FBI Agent Hawkins is in charge of the kidnapping.
And you're going to handle the murder.
Now, I want you to pull whateverfavors you need
from whoever and make like thisassignment
suits your ambitions, 'cause you're going to be stepping
-all over their investigation. -I don't want this job.
Senator and I go way back.
I don't want this job.
Detective Grimes will be on sickleave for a few weeks,
-so this is your case now. -I don't want this job.
I know.
Let me make this very clear.
Dyscape is in no way going to jeopardize
the safety of Mr. Dyson.
We are fully prepared to meet the kidnappers' demands
by tomorrow, as specified in this note...
and to deliver the four milliondollars in cash
to whatever location they specify
in exchange for Mr. Dyson.
A call is supposed to be made tothis office
at 8:00 p.m. tonight.
I bought my daughter her first computer last week.
I must admit, they're a lot of fun.
We are glad to be of assistance to the authorities
as much as we see fit, but we will not...
I repeat, will not in any way
stall, mislead, or trick the kidnappers.
And that is final.
-You got it. -Mm-hmm.
So fill me in.
That remark could be misconstrued
as sexual harassment, Agent Hawkins.
Let's get it out of the way, then.
You've never worked under a female superior before.
I got to where I am by pushing paper
and playing nice. I never actually fired
a gun before. I'm only in this job
to prove my father I'm not a coward.
I give decent head so I got promoted
before other worthy candidates,all of them men
and all of them equally gifted at fellatio,
but there was a gender quota tofill.
I'm also stupid and idealistic.
You are hardened, cynical and usually right.
I'm secretly in love with you,
but I have a hard time showing it.
Did I skip anything?
You're a better driver than meand I'm too proud to admit it.
You're right.
So you keep me updated on everything,
and you have my permission to assist us
-as much as you like. -That's very thoughtful of you.
Anything turn up with the rent-a-cop?
I'm on my way to the hospital right now.
Mm-hmm. How about the woman upstairs?
Name's Mary-Ellen Floyd.
She used to play tennis with thesenator's wife.
I have an appointment with her in an hour.
-You coming to the senator's? -You inviting me?
-You bet. You like to be on top?-Half the time.
-Want to have sex later? -Sure.
-I'll check with my ex-wife.-I'll check with my ex-husband.
"It was too bad about Joyce Lakeland.
If only she hadn't loved it whenI beat her,
the whole trouble wouldn't havestarted."
Well, my. You really know your Jim Thompson.
That's pretty impressive for a detective.
I'm filled with contradictions,Agent Hawkins.
You'll see.
-Mr. Gordon? -What's left of me.
-Who are you? -Detective David Friedman.
Mind if I talk to you?
Well, I didn't see nothing good.
Just some delivery guy futzing with the video monitor,
floor ten. B-- But you know that.
He came up close to the camera.
Dark hair, late twenties.
Maybe thirties.
Oh, heck. Maybe forties.
I don't know. My eyesight ain'tso good.
Clearly...
you know that you're the last person
to see Mrs. Hornbeck alive.
I'm very sorry that you have torecap the incident
only hours after it happened.
I only wish I could be of more assistance.
Patty and I had lunch and playedtennis
every Thursday.
Sometimes, after we'd played,
she would come back here and shower.
She was...
It's all so ridiculous. She wasso smart, so funny.
She was my best friend.
We'd known each other for 15 years.
She left my apartment today and...
And she got murdered because shetook the stairs
and not the elevator.
That's so pathetic. I miss her so much already.
- You know? -
I beg you all...
from the deepest...
part of my soul to find these degenerates.
I want them prosecuted
to the fullest extent of the law.
Then, God help me, I'm going topass a new law
that will bring them to justice.
I swear.
Beg-- I beg you all your pardonfor my conduct here.
Today, I...
I don't think the words exist...to express... my feeling.
I hope...
I hope none of you ever...
get to understand what it's like.
I'm sorry.
These fuckers just committed suicide.
-Well? -Let's abort.
-What's that get us? -Dyson walks, he knows nothing.
He saw me for a fraction of a second.
I can live with that.
We try to pull a ransom scheme,someone might get seen.
And then they gonna fry us.
- I should've shot her. -What the fuck
difference does it make? She hadto go down,
no matter what. It's still the same dilemma.
-Four million dollars. -I've never quit nothing.
Unless you count school, but that wasn't my fault.
Okay, we have till tomorrow to decide.
Let's assess here for a minute.They're looking for us, anyway.
-In, like, beaucoup numbers. -Wewalk, we're clean.
They can never trace us. Freakystuff happens like that.
Criminal negligence or not, thejob remains the same.
Nothing's the same, man. We're all...
- What's that fucking word? - Hinked.
We're all hinked here.
Before they're coming clueless,now they're coming pissed.
It makes a fucking difference.
We can ring up tonight, jerk theleash a little, feel it out.
Fuck half-way. If we're in, we're in.
-Ruben? -Ruben what?
-Are you back in? -I've never been out.
--Okay.
-This is Walters. -Okay, this phone is tapped.
Talk to you at Capri's Pizza across the street.
You got five minutes.
I told you they'd know.
I'd be real worried about your boss if they didn't.
Come on, honey.
- How's he doing? -Stillcrying.
Christ Almighty, the man's gonna have
a salt deficiency
by the time he's done.
Hello? Mr. Walters, please.
Yes, hello?
Say hello to the fed beside you.What's his name?
Her name is Hawkins. No, no, no.I only want to speak to you
as I said in my notes, but say hello and tell her
the veggie paninis are outstanding in Capri's.
-It's a cellular. -How long willit take you?
Piece of cake.
Silver briefcase, model 399.
With the black handles. Yes, ofcourse.
Hello?
So four million, used bills, noproblem.
Don't you feel stupid repeatingeverything to the feds?
- I'm sorry, what? -I'll call you at noon tomorrow.
-You will call tomorrow noon? -You can't get used bills
till the afternoon.
Actually, I don't think I can get used bills
until the afternoon. That's gener--
-Are you an early riser? -I begyour pardon?
He's calling from a different line
every 30 seconds or so.
-We can't get the trace. -He's not bad.
-Are you an early riser? -Yes, I'm an early riser.
Make it 8:00 a.m. then.
-You'll call at 8:00 a.m.? -Stall him.
Press for the afternoon.
Actually, I don't think I'll beable to get the money
until the afternoon.
That's when the bank generally opens.
The gentleman I speak to--
6:00 a.m. then.
6:00 a.m.? You're going to callat 6 a.m.?
You keep playing games and I'm gonna keep
pushing the time, is that clear?
It's clear.
Say you're sorry.
I'm sorry.
- May I speak to Mr. Dyson? - Oh, Ben.
There's no need to cry.
You're going to be out of here tomorrow.
I know this all seems very uncivilized and cruel,
but we are not going to hurt you.
Okay? Come on. Let's get you onthe phone.
You can talk to your accountant.
There's no need to be a scared bunny.
You touch her again, I don't give a fuck
how much your brain's worth,
it's going to end up splatteredall over this room.
- Do you understand? - Mm, mm.
Easy, everyone.
Phone's waiting.
You okay, sweetie?
Yeah.
I never been hit in the face before.
Fuck, that hurts.
Don't you ever lay a hand on melike that.
Honey, I would never.
Here I was thinking "scared bunny"
is a term of endearment.
Very well, then, 5:00 a.m. it is. Here's Dyson.
Mr. Dyson?
- Who is this? -Walters.
Accounting.
Are you okay, sir?
I've been better, Mr. Walters.
You'll be safe in no time.
We're doing everything we can toget you.
So then, he's alive. Talk to you at 4:00 a.m.
Tell Hawkins "in culo alla balena".
If I get the sense that you're lying to me again,
I cut up Dyson in a million pieces
- and disappear. -
Definitely Dyson?
Detective?
Did you catch him yet?
Payout's at 4:00 a.m.
That gives me a hell of a lot oftime, Hawkins.
That's only if you assume we'renot going to get him.
Giving you all the credit in theworld,
I still have to look at it bothways.
If you blow it at 4:00 a.m., they're gone.
Kidnappers always screw up.
It's part of their makeup as a species.
I'm relieved to hear that the FBI
works under such scientific truths.
-Well, fuck me sideways. -What,here?
Is it too late to re-visit a grieving witness?
Well, not if you bring her flowers.
See you at Dyscape in a few.
Miss Floyd, I'm sorry to troubleyou again.
I forgot my lighter.
It sounds petty...
it was the only thing my fatherleft me.
Thank you.
Oh.
Thank you again.
- No problem. -
Maybe it's time to call it a night, huh?
Patty wasn't bad.
I'm sure she wasn't.
She didn't need to be bad to become a victim,
if that's where you're heading.
I'd do anything for her.
You do understand that, don't you?
Yes, I do.
It's not for me to say what is right or what is wrong.
She loved him. She really...
I'm quite sure she did.
It would've worked out for them.I just, uh, feel it.
It would have worked out for Patty and the senator?
Patty and Ben.
Patty Hornbeck...
and Ben Dyson?
They were involved.
She was so happy. It felt like something good
was finally happening in her life.
How long they been seeing each other?
They came here every Thursday for the last three months.
It had been going on earlier. Maybe about a year.
Come on.
It's time to go to sleep.
Tomorrow's a new day.
And we all get a fresh start.
Tell me your dreams.
I dream of being strapped to a wood frame in a barn...
with horns on my head and a cowbell around my neck...
taken from behind by a giganticbull.
No, I mean your dreams.
What do you want to do with yourlife?
Listen.
I am the most available female alien in this galaxy.
You don't have to concoct all these silly plans
just to see me naked.
-4:00 a.m.'s no good. -So we make the idiot
wait till nine, then start.
4:00 a.m.'s no good.
So we make the idiot wait till nine, then start.
At the tone the time will be one...
Little early for that, ain't it?
When you drink as much as I do,you've got to start early.
Happy reading, my friend.
Let's take a look at Ben Dyson'sphone bills as well.
You know, I jump when you say jump, Friedman.
But this is pushing it. I mean,the cleaning people
get here in 15 minutes.
You better make it snappy then.
Thanks, Friedman. I appreciate it.
Maybe once this is all over
- we could catch some dinner. - I'd like that.
You take care.
How much do you sleep atnight?
I beg your pardon?
How many hours?
-About four, average. You? -Samehere.
Maybe we could have some late-night dinner.
Ruben, put that away. The bacon's dead already.
I just haven't gone this long without killing something.
- You had your chance. - Come on, you know
I would have shot her.
But Coco was tremendous.
No, you really were. You were great.
You didn't freeze up.
I'll never forget the first timeI had to clip somebody. Oh!
My entire body froze.
Well, my entire body except my asshole.
I had the runs for a whole week.
You don't even look like you gotthe runs.
You probably bit off your mother's nipple
when you were a baby, huh?
You're doing real good, Mr. Dyson.
You know, I never shot anythingbut beer cans before.
Well, and a bird once.
But that was a bet and I was drunk.
But I guess I just want to tellyou...
you know, so that...
So that you know.
You're doing real good, considering.
If you'll excuse me.
-I feel nauseous. -Maybe you'repregnant.
I wish. You know what I'm talking about.
You ought to stop punishing yourself, Coco.
-You had no choice. -How could Ihave no choice?
What do you want me to say?
That you fucked up?
Cause you didn't.
It was a tough situation and youdid what you had to do.
Of course you feel bad. You feelbad
because you're not a monster.
I've never killed anyone before.
Exactly.
You done good until now. This was an accident.
"You done good until now." What's that supposed to mean?
Well, it means...
what it means.
Listen.
You and I, what's between us, it's like...
...without jinxing nothing,Coco, we've been through a lot.
Good and bad. Officially, mostly bad.
But we always managed to keep our sense of humor about it.
And life is a complicated littlecomedy
and if you whack yourself off-kilter here,
we're both going to drown. 'Cause we're connected.
We don't just have a lot of things in common, sweetie.
We're the same. And this is life.
Fuck-ups happen and we learn from them.
Now, you're flipping out right now 'cause you think
this accident puts us in more danger than before,
but the truth is, it doesn't.
Or we don't know yet.
Or we won't know until this whole thing is done.
But projecting all this fear, unto me right now,
it's not going to help either ofus.
Please don't get killed.
I can manage without you, but Idon't feel like it.
You have built a perfectly greased machine
and set it in motion.
Now it's time to let it go.
Take a bath.
Watch TV.
--Read a magazine.
Anything.
Just let it play out. Now, I'm gonna see you
in a couple hours and that's a promise.
Don't say you promise, that's bad luck.
I don't promise.
But I love you.
Now, Ruben's packing everythingwe got.
I'm gonna leave this here with you this just in case.
Do keep an eye on Lizard as muchas possible.
-You hear? -Yeah.
--Here we go, buffalo.
Okay. God bless.
Shouldn't you be doing something?
You starting a conversation, Walters? I can't really tell.
I mean, are we just going to wait all day?
You're getting paid, aren't you?
Yes, I'm getting paid.
For sitting around with federalprotection.
Usually you have to rat on madeguys
to get that kind of attention.
Take off your shoes. Live a little.
Showtime.
-Hello? -Go to Wally's Auto Shop
downtown. You've got 32 minutes.
-I'll be there. -I know you will.
-Senator's a slow dresser, eh? -Mm-hmm.
Oh, Detective.
I'm afraid the senator can't speak to you
- at the moment. - "Afraid"...
is the operative word in that sentence.
Lee Ann, this is Rickles.
Tell Arthur to bring the car around.
I've been drinking bad coffee for the last 45 minutes,
waiting for his highness to emerge.
Now, I'm sure his beloved dead wife
isn't quite as pressing an issueas this international conference
he's going to be five minutes late for,
but I just don't have the time to wait until after.
I don't appreciate your tone, Detective.
I need to speak to you in private.
You got my undivided attention from here to the car.
Let's see if you can hold it.
Did you know that your wife andBen Dyson
had a relationship?
No, but it doesn't surprise me.My wife and I had relationships
with just about everyone worth knowing in this city.
That's not the kind ofrelationship I'm talking about.
Then make yourself clear, Detective. Life is fleeting.
Did you know she'd beenhaving an affair with Mr. Dyson
these past few months?
You must be talking about your wife, Detective,
- not mine. - I have proof
they spoke several times a day over the phone.
Listen to me carefully, you little prick.
I don't know what your angle ishere
and frankly, I don't give a damn.
But if smearing the names of stand-up citizens
is your idea of a police investigation,
then maybe Chief Bleeker could find you a job
in one of the tabloids.
I don't have the time or the patience
to destroy your miserable existence,
but I know several people who do.
Don't ever speak to me again.
Don't you even dare look at me.
If you get near my house again Iwill pull so many strings
so far beyond the level of yourcomprehension
it's going to take 50 years to dig up your bones
in some wasteland pit in CentralAmerica.
Detective?
Oh, sorry. I thought you were Matty.
Matty Grimes?
Yeah, well, actually, you just--Your cars look similar. I'm...
Ha-- Have a good day.
I tried it once, you know.
-I forget the reason why. -Onlyonce?
Amateur.
Why, you?
Really?
I don't like to dwell on my failures.
You're lying.
Maybe so, maybe not. But the best bet is, who knows?
Because when you try to kill yourself once
you never forget how the blood gushed out
and that horrible face you madein the mirror.
From there one embellishes. It'sall so romantic, you know?
It's like all those rumors you hear.
"Maybe Lizard is a cop,
or maybe he was behind the killing of those old folks
in that social security scam."
You just never know.
Precisely. It's all so diabolically unimportant.
Just talk.
You and Junior were high schoolsweethearts, weren't you?
Uh, if we'd ever gone to high school, yeah.
How did you two meet, anyway?
Mm, I had this crazy ass boyfriend, Jiminy Cricket.
I've heard of him. Short, greenguy,
kept Pinocchio out of trouble?
Jiminy was a speed-freak with aself-esteem problem
the size of Kansas.
He used to spank me with a violin.
We hit liquor stores for drug cash
and only had oral sex because hewas so paranoid
about knocking me up.
He won't even kiss me, he was soparanoid.
Claimed his saliva was...
sperm-rich, or some other nonsense.
But I was young and he did havea cool bike
and what have you.
I was going through a phase.
Anyway, we were going to hit this supermarket
that Junior worked at.
I didn't really know him, but Jiminy said
he was a stand-up guy.
We're planning on breaking in
through the meat freezer skylight,
but Jiminy never showed up.
I was fed up with him. He'd flaked on other jobs
and I was starting to see littlefuture
in the relationship, so I brokein alone...
and met Junior by the liquor boxes.
Meat freezer connected with theregular storage area,
and he'd chosen to hide out there during close-up.
But he'd miscalculated the nightwatchman's routine
and he got locked in, period.
So, when I showed up, he was half drunk and depressed.
Not a good start.
We decided to abort the plan
and stack up the liquor boxes toclimb out,
when Jiminy showed up, noticed the open skylight,
saw me nowhere and closed it, asto not arouse any suspicion
and do the job the following night.
So what else could Junior and Ido but get drunk?
We spent the night swapping stories,
made a deal to change the world.
Settled on changing ourselves.
♪ I'll run away with you...
We fucked like bunnies inthe meat freezer.
I had my first ever orgasm staring into a dead cow.
♪ You're just like a dream
I'll never forget the fresh smell of blood
and the rawness of all that flesh.
It was right then and there thatI knew I was in love.
How'd you two get out?
Oh. Next morning they just
opened the supermarket. We walked right on out.
Junior quit on the spot.
And to this day I can't look ata steak without getting wet.
They got a goofy yellow car in front of Wally's.
There's a van up the street. Very discreet.
And there's another car pulled up
in front of the food truck.
There's a woman getting out, looks like our leader.
She's kind of cute.
Tell him I can take all of themfrom here,
just in case we need to.
-And Ruben says-- -I heard it.
Tell the jackal to stand down. Call you back.
No, no, no, Mrs. Gurwitz.
I told you, your alternator wasjust fine,
but the radiator--
We already rebuilt the radiator.That's the point.
Now, we got ourselves a situation here.
You cannot expect me to undo thework.
-You do understand that we-- -Doyou have a call waiting?
-What do you want? -I need thatphone, Mr...
Wally. I need it right now! It'sa police emergency.
Son, you are not a cop. Get thefuck out of here.
"Mr. Wally." Fuck you. No, no, ma'am, not you.
Now, look, labor has already been
committed on your Mercedes.
That is not in question here.
All right, just let me look at the file. You just hang on.
God, women!
-Yes? -You make me wait
and that's the last you'll hearfrom me.
I am sorry.
-What are you doing? -What are you doing?
I need that phone!
- What's going on down there? - Oh, you're missing
a beautiful routine, Wally, themechanic's
about to beat the hell out of our helpless accountant.
He's calling out for help. Otheragents are coming in.
Wally's swinging a tire iron. Ithink he's--
He's going to stand up-- Stand up to the two agents.
-Male or female, the agents? -Male. Walters is inside.
-Hello? -You playing games, is that it?
No, no. You don't understand.
A mechanic pushed me around outside--
I don't understand. I don't knowwhatever gave you
the idea you were dealing with achild.
I'm not sure Ben Dyson would beamused
by your incompetence and disregard for his life.
But let's straighten this out right now.
No, I'm not lying to you. I washere on time.
-I was here, the man-- -Shut up!It's very simple.
Get rid of the goons outside theoffice.
Tell Hawkins to go fuck herselfand lose the van.
Lie to me and you carry Dyson'sdeath
on your conscience for life.
It's not a threat, it's a promise.
You've got to make it across town
to the Three Horseshoes Motel. It's on Seeker Street,
the phone is in the lobby. Takea cab.
You know I'm watching you, so let's up the stakes a little.
If I see any of your friends near you,
I'm gonna shoot you on the spot.
He's been instructed to take a cab to a motel.
We're being watched as we speak.
Well, they can't see you.
Send two agents over to the motel.
Have them check for cameras.
They can't see him inside the motel otherwise.
Unless, of course, they're inside.
- There you go, ma'am.-Thank you. But you know what?
I don't think they're that stupid.
Want to get another agent in thecab
and we'll drive the little accountant over?
They're watching us.
So, you want to stick around,
look for anybody that looks likea kidnapper?
-It's not the weekend yet, Dave.-I'm here to talk to Matty.
Come in.
-Hey there, Tinkerbell. -Hi, Daddy.
- You're not in school? -She's got a cold.
Matty's in there, Dave.
-What's shaking, Friedman? -I came to pay you a visit.
The boys miss you.
And we all wish you'd get bettersoon.
You're a worse liar than me.
-What can I do you for? -I inherited your Hornbeck case.
I heard.
Do me proud. But not too proud.
I still need my job once I get better.
Freaky coincidence, breaking your foot
yesterday morning, when all thiswas about to come down.
Well, everything happensfor a reason.
Most of the time the reason simply being life is fucked.
Now, I don't mean to rush you ornothing, but...
I'm about to take a nap.
- You know Hornbeck pretty well?- He's an ex-cop.
I've sat down with him once or twice.
Plays a lousy game of poker, butthen I told you that.
You go there a lot?
Friedman, I like you, I really do.
But if you're going to ask something, do it.
Did you bug Patty Hornbeck's phone?
Jesus Christ!
You've been up all night, haven't you?
You're the best fucking wire manon the entire force.
Just give me a straight yes or no
and I'll play dumb with this whole scam.
I ain't looking to get promoted
and I ain't looking to get killed.
-I didn't bug nobody's phone. -I'm asking you nice, Matty.
I don't want the goddamn job.
You really should take some timeoff.
You've gone totally paranoid.
-Ow. What are you doing? -You bluffed, I called.
Put that away! What's wrong with you, man?
I'm going to break yourfoot
-if it isn't broken already. -It's broken already.
Well, there's no way you'd hop like that if it was broken.
-Say goodbye to your foot. -Stopit! Put that away!
Did you bug her phone?
I'm going to get you for this,Friedman. I swear to God, I am.
-Did you? Yes or no? -No!
Crazy son of a bitch!
-Did you? -Yes!
Thanks.
Here's a cab. Walter looks likehe's about to pass out.
He's getting in.
- Can you see the driver? - Negative.
You think it's one of them?
Oh, I'll bet my life.
Feds are preposterously unimaginative.
Hold on a sec.
Hey, sweetie. Lizard's right, sugarpop. I think Walter
has to be wired up the ass. Butthere's just one now,
so you let Ruben handle that ifneeded, you hear?
You sit tight. You wait till theagents leave.
If they don't, you stash your equipment.
You leave one at a time.
How are you feeling?
Oh, a might restless, pumpkin, but, uh, it's just natural.
How's Lizard?
He's breathing up a storm with that kundalini nonsense
-of his. -Well, as long
as he keeps still. I'll talk toyou in five.
Hey, sweetie? Have you had lunch?
Are you here for Rolo?
- Excuse me? - If you're here for him,
he got arrested.
-Who? -Rolo.
Lobby. Who?
Rolo ain't here, you know. Arrested.
Uh-huh. Who? I don't know any Walters.
- This is Walters. - Who's Rolo?
I have no idea.
The agent in the cab getting allthis down?
- What-- What-- What agent? - You want to die?
Listen up, there's a green couchbehind you, see it?
-Yup. -There is a phone underneath it,
and a note. Read the note.
Tear it up in front of the clerkand do as it says.
Fuck you!
-Not you, lady. -Nothing I ain'theard before.
Okay, the son of a bitch is definitely
not watching me now.
And if this woman is involved, she is some kind of genius.
I don't know about you guys, butyou are on your own.
I'm taking the 12 o'clock trainacross the street.
That gives me four minutes to catch it.
Last call for train58.
Now boarding, train 58.
Have two cars follow this train.
Chief, I told the detective he had to wait.
Well, he's in now.
Please leave us alone.
Well, sir?
You pulled Matty off the assignment on purpose.
You're buddies, I understand.But what do you got against me?
Your entrance was great, but you're rambling now.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Ben Dyson andPatty Hornbeck
having an affair for a year.
I'm talking about Hornbeckhiring Matty to tap her phone.
I'm talking about police corruption
beyond inter-departmental charges.
I'm talking about me making it very clear
that I didn't want the fucking job
because it's rigged up the ass
and you insisted on me getting fucked.
What do you have against me?
The public has no idea what justice costs
the men and women who perform it.
-Meaning? -Meaning thanks
for coming to me with this first.
Meaning I get a favor now?
Meaning you're jumping to conclusions mighty quick.
If Dyson and Mrs. Hornbeck werehaving an affair,
well, it's nothing but a coincidence.
Don't do this to me.
A coincidence, pure and simple.
There are no coincidences in this life, Chief.
You know that.
I expect a report on your leadsand suspects.
ASAP.
-There's only one suspect. -There's only one killer.
Are you going to let me arrest Rupert Hornbeck?
I'm going to make like I never heard you utter
such nonsense.
Covington, next stop. Covington.
This'll be our last stop beforehand.
Do you think we have time for aswim?
Go ahead. I don't think you canfloat
with all that metal you're carrying.
Did you know that some people hate the taste of metal?
Can't say I've ever given it much thought.
I wish women tasted more like this.
Now, you're going to make a prison shrink
very happy someday, Ruben.
My mother used to say that.
Yeah?
This is Walters.
Ben Dyson will be alivein your office in two hours.
Open the window and throw out the briefcase right...
...now.
FBI! Hold it right there!
Hands in the air!
Ruben!
Ruben, get in the car! Get in the fucking car!
-Son of a bitch. -Hey, come on.
This is it! This is it!
Stop fucking look at it too much.
I've never seen this much moneytogether, man.
My dick is thick as a brick.
Well, hold that thought and close the window
before the money flies away.
Close the fucking window beforethe money flies away.
You know-- You know, I've pictured it and--
And I've dreamed about it, but--
But it never fit all in my head.
It was too big. I mean, it's-- It's still too big.
It's like my head is expanding,man.
I-- I think I'm having an epilepsy.
-Having a fit? -No, man, an epilepsy.
-Like a religious vision. -I think you mean
-you're having an epiphany. -Yeah, that's it.
You know, like I thought, like--They'd do it like in the movies.
You know, they-- They just put the top layer in
and fill up the rest with newspapers.
And you know what? I would've been happy with it.
But they filled up the case.
They really went for it.
You ever seen that Errol Flynn picture,
-Objective, Burma!? -No. Old movies make me sad.
- Really? Why's that? -Idon't want to talk about it.
Okay.
Errol Flynn, is he a homo?
Well, last I heard, Errol Flynnwas dead.
Oh.
-I mean was he a homo? -Well, how the fuck do I know?
Cary Grant was a homo. Rock Hudson, too.
You know what that did to my mother?
No.
She was devastated.
I'll never forgive those guysfor letting her down like this.
You know, now, if I watch old movies,
I just keep thinking in the backof my head,
"My mother has a crush on this guy and--
And he's probably a homo."
-Makes me sad, that's all. -Yeah, you got a point.
Hey, why are we stopping?
This battery's flat. I got a spare in the back.
So what happens in Objective, Burma!?
Well, Flynn and a group of soldiers
are about to jump out of this airplane
into some fucking jungle duringWorld War II
and this guy asks Flynn,
"What happens if my chute don'topen?"
And Flynn says, "Well...
you'll be the first one on the ground."
- What does it mean? - Nothing, really.
- Yup? - I just got paid.
I'm a man of my word, are you?
Yeah, I have no complaints so far.
Well, you got something for me?
5515 Ellroy Street.
There's a briefcase under your seat. Open it.
Senator.
The girl with Dyson...
she's unarmed.
Hawkins, where the hell are you?
I won't be long.
He's leaving right now. How longis long?
Not too long.
You had better be certain aboutthis.
The world gets more uncertain every second.
-You got cash? -For keeping my mouth shut?
For parking.
Yeah.
Something isn't right.
Time really isn't linear, you know?
What are you saying?
I'm saying if you look at that watch again
I'm going to skin you alive.
Do you know something I don't?
That's an open book of a question.
Will you stop that?
I'm merely trying to breathe inpeace. Stop what?
This high and mighty eloquence.It's epically dull.
Epically dull?
You have a skillfully willful way with words, Coco.
Don't bother the hostage.
I'm sure he's not toosympathetic to your impatience.
And when they asked Jim Thompson
where he came up with all thosetwisted plots,
he said, "There's only ever beenone plot."
"You can't always get what you want."
Almost. "Nothing is what it seems."
How come you didn't become a writer?
- You know so much. - He'spulling over.
Follow him.
- What do you mean, follow him? - He doesn't like me.
- What if he doesn't like me? - Just do it!
Okay, I'm doing it.
Ah, shit!
Follow the green car.
What took you so long?
There was a Tupperware sale andI couldn't help myself.
What do you mean what took me solong?
I was worried, that's all. We after the assistant now?
Hornbeck gave him an address.
Made him run like hell.
--Standard 357.
An old-fashioned, stay-put typepiece. I know, but I like it.
What?
Hey, you smoke?
Oh, that's terrific.
You one of those health conscious people
or you just never need to feel cool?
You know, I started smoking whenI was 12.
At least I'm no quitter.
Hey, if I ask you something, youpromise not to hit me?
I just...
I just wonder what it feels like.
You know, to think you're goingto die.
And I don't mean that in a morbid way. I mean,
what I mean is I know we're notgoing to kill you,
even if you think I'm saying that
as some torture technique or something.
You must think you are, right?
I mean, either because we're crazy
or because we're going to screwup or something.
I just-- I just wonder what it feels like,
I mean, besides the fear
and the bad uncertain aspect ofthings.
I wonder if you get any sense of...
inner revelations or...
I don't know, empowerment?
Like-- Like resolutions andstuff?
I guess you don't have to tell me.
I just thought you might need someone to talk to.
--This is unit340.
I need an ambulance here.
Corner of Jacinta and Ellroy.
You weren't kidding about your driving, were you?
I mean, because after all, you know,
you are going to spend years intherapy
after this ordeal, am I right?
Hey, what's that short story about that scientist
who spends all that time creating the first computer,
the most perfect, complicated machine and--
And he works and he works untilfinally it's done and...
And he turns it on and...
the first question he asked thecomputer is,
"Is there a God?"
And the computer says...
What does the computer say?
"There is now."
Ha! I knew that.
I was just trying to see if you'd break down and talk.
You say you're not going to killme.
I guarantee it. I mean, not thatmy word
means anything to you, but it does to me.
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, anything. I'm just happy to talk.
Why did you kill Patty?
Patty who?
You knew that lady, the senator's wife?
I knew her.
But we had...
so little time together.
Oh, God. Why did this have to happen on a Thursday?
I'm going to jump in the shower.
Tell someone who gives a fuck.
I thought you might want to join me
if you need to calm down.
A sense of humor is one of thosethings
you can't afford to lose.
♪ How many crumbs in bread
♪ I admit you are strange
I'll scope out Dyson's pad againtomorrow.
I say we go Thursday.
But I thought we agreed the weekend was better.
It's crying out to me, honey, it's in my gut.
Don't get me wrong. Imean, I get dizzy
just picturing your gut, baby, you know.
But Lizard thinks it's better if--
Well, fuck Lizard.
Who set this whole thing up? Youand me.
Yeah.
And I'm telling you, we go Thursday.
I had a little dream about it.
- You did? -Yeah, I did.
But this guy must have a skidillion bodyguards
and a bizillion high-tech alarmsystems
and what have you.
Cleaning lady goes out,we go in.
It's too simple.
Simplicity ain't necessarily bad.
There's always room for error.
Well, that's comforting.
Why aren't you the one packing?
Well, I don't want to risk the gun going off
when I try to cover his face.
Oh, it just makes me nervous.
Coco, you're a better shot
- than me, anyway. -That's true.
It's a precaution, that's all.
Mm, it is?
♪ But last but not least
♪ But baby most of all
Coco?
The girl said you weren't goingto kill me.
What did I do?
Why don't you just get off your big butt
- and get a job? -
Benjamin.
- Hornbeck? - Go ahead,Rickles.
Ready or not, here I come.
Shh.
You've been fucking my wife for a year.
You've been calling her at all hours.
You've been sweet-talking her with your bullshit.
You've been laughing at me behind my back.
Explain this to me.
-Fuck you. -That's not the answer I wanted.
- Go ahead, Rickles. -
Oh shit! God. Fuck this!
Shit.
- Ah, shit! -
Now, get up! All right.
Rickles! Rickles!
I'm putting his hands in the freezer, Senator.
That's enough!
Enough? Enough?
This ain't even fucking close toover, you son of a bitch!
This hasn't even started!
Smell that burning flesh stink,Ben.
Smell it!
The last fucking thing
you're going to smell in your life.
Think about all your fucking companies.
All your goddamn money you didn't get to spend.
Was it worth it
for a few moments of ecstasy with my wife?
Did you tell her you love her?
Did she whisper nice things in your ear?
Did she mention...
she was telling me the same things at night?
She didn't love you.
-How could she? -But she loved you.
Because you're so special.
-Is that right? -Because I caredfor her.
-You respected her. -Yes.
You respected her once a week
with your cock in her face! Youmake me sick!
Apologize, asshole!
Is that why you had her killed?
-Because you loved her? -Apologize!
There's nothing to apologize for.
Apologize to me!
You are nothing.
Rickles.
I'm so sorry.
911, emergency.
Hello?
My name is Ben Dyson.
I was kidnapped yesterday.
Can you trace this call and sendan ambulance, please?
We'll send an ambulanceand police assistance
right away.
Go.
Just go.
I'm going to stay.
Make sure you're okay.
Please.
I've never seen you before.
I don't know who you are.
Code 4. A fast food establishment on the...
You're going to have a beautifulnew nose, honest.
Oh, no.
Med 2, ambulance 3to 5515 Ellroy Street, ASAP.
Jeez, they're sending in the whole city.
Sending the whole city where?
That Ben Dyson guy, he called 911 a minute ago.
Alive?
At least when he called.
5515?
-That's a block, which way? -Uh,just past the cemetery.
Uh, Detective, I'm pretty sure
-that ankle's broken. -Get her to the hospital.
What happened to your ankle?
Why?
You going to lend me your cast?
Do yourself a big time favor andblow out of here
before you really get hurt.
I'm curious.
You got a mop in there?
Scrubbing oils?
-Sponges? -There's no time for this.
Talk to the chief. I'm going inthere now.
I can't let you go in there.
I'm going in.
You're not going in.
Friedman, leave, please!
Why, you going to kill me, too?
Goddamn it, Friedman!
You did your job. I've got to domine.
Now, you know none of this is personal
so don't pretend it is.
I'll tell you why none of this is personal.
-Because you are not a person. -I'm going in now.
I believe this is a federal investigation,
Detective Grimes. Thanks for guarding the scene.
I'll be sure to put in a word for you in my report.
Damn.
All available units to 5515 Ellroy Street.
That is 5515 Ellroy Street.
All available units to 5515 Ellroy Street.
That is 5515 Ellroy Street.
I didn't ask for a rumand coke.
I asked for a piña colada.
You look like you've seen a ghost.
One too many.
How the hell are you, sweetie?
I'm alive.
You're not.
Dear Jesus,
some people say life is what youbargain for.
I'm starting to think life isn'tmuch of a bargain
to begin with.
The more I live, the less I learn,
the less I know, the more I regret.
I've done things I never dreamedof doing
and lived to tell.
Maybe it's true that we can allget a fresh start somehow.
Myself, I'm not too sure.
But I'll keep you posted.
♪ Breaking a piece of you
♪ Is your only hope
♪ Nobody loves you
♪ But Jesus and me
♪ I've got my reasons
♪ This is the century
♪ Of I don't believe
♪ In anything
♪ But what's up my sleeve
♪ So what's up your sleeve?
♪ Nobody loves you
♪ But Jesus and me
♪ I want your money
♪ But he wants your soul
♪ I'm not political
♪ I did what I could
♪ I didn't mean no harm but
♪ I mean no good
♪ Nobody loves you
♪ But Jesus and me
♪ I've got my reasons
♪ I want your mystery
♪ But he wants your soul